Hello . I’m only a dozen yrs old and you can I am simply been freaking over to myself considering harming/killing anyone. I detest it effect so bad and that i feel therefore guilty I don’t wanna go through the go out. I’m so scared this one big date I’m simply planning to snap and you may enter my personal child sisters room and strangle the lady. Following single I was camping and that i is with my other younger aunt and i is actually scared I found myself browsing strangle this lady to help you dying. I do not like them ! I believe one-day I’m planning act on them toward some body…. In my opinion I am an ill person and do not even are entitled to to real time. I always avoid individuals as much as i is also plus don’t rating close some body otherwise guns . I usually want to me personally ” Was We planning do it now ” I recently need it gone ): I am seeing a counselor right now and you can seeing if that usually assist me . But I’m not sure Easily have OCD?
I’ve one or two younger sisters and one sister on your way
Your malfunction sounds like the brand new stories We hear every single day in my own office. And just like you, a few of the anyone I discover also have a problem with, “Imagine if it is not extremely OCD? What if I’m really just an adverse person?”
Do not anxiety. Think of, OCD is extremely treatable if you find yourself coping with a therapist just who uses exposure and you can reaction protection (ERP). Simply follow the procedures, bust your tail, and this will start to pay off.
Recently, I have along with created avoidances away from affairs We used to just after enjoy such as taking coffee-and alchohol consumption (when i discover that these induce anxiety), and therefore contributes on to the hopelessness far more this particular is actually bringing power over living
We earliest had unlawful opinion out of stabbing other people/me personally during the age 12 (I’m twenty-seven now). In those days, I didn’t have the bravery to fairly share these to individuals whenever i try too embaressed and you can thought horrible for having this type of view. To deal with her or him, I made for me personally, a state of being which I would personally never ever spoil myself/ anyone inside my expereince of living and you will abide by it zero-matter-exactly what. Assuming such thoughts popped up, I managed to place them aside because of the reminding me personally of the updates I’d set to me personally. That it worked well for me personally until regarding 2 years right back. Someday, the thought out of the blue popped up and thats once i realized that the way in which I attempted to help you neutralise the new opinion is absurd and you may foolish. I was abruptly confronted with my personal poor fears without any coping system. It absolutely was merely a-year straight back that i realized this is exactly OCD and also the standing I had put myself is largely an excellent compulsion. Ever since then, I have already been looking to overlook the advice (as opposed to supressing them) and you may direct my life as usual so there had been moments as i provides considered the problem went having weeks. Yet not, whenever i have always been feeling every an excellent and you can thought it is trailing me, a similar thought pops up again that have a sense that is not more than but really. We are my personal better to disregard the viewpoint and proceed, however, sandwich knowingly, the fear catches up and the anxiety creates, ultimately causing an atmosphere that we are not recovered whatsoever and you may gloomy advice ensue (thoughts including are my entire life will be like this constantly that will be it even deserving best such as for example a lifetime and certainly will I actually ever have the ability to real time cheerfully etc. ). I for some reason compensate my personal brain to disregard this type of depressing thoughts and you can move forward and you can once more after a couple of months, every are bright again until the exact same thought pops up and thigs start spiralling off. The latest 
cycle continues on. The specifically tough to deal with good reccurance in the event the fear and you can advice havent had the experience for a while. With each such as course, my believe is getting straight down and i end up being much more about hopeless when you look at the conquering this matter or resort to my personal dated compulsion, and therefore somehow doesnt functions any more when i provides stopped believing within the it.